It took a long time to write a blog again. Why? I don’t know, maybe i didn’t prioritize it enough. Seven months. Whoop, just like that. So in this blog i will look back at these past time. First i start with december 2021.

Several months past by and when i started to write this blog I’ve started the last month of 2021. December, Sagittarius month, my month because I became 52 years old at the 5th of december. Still one year to go and I am as old as my father ended his life on this planet. He was only 53.

When I started my birthday in the morning I strongly felt that my father was with me. I felt it much stronger than on other, more common days. I started talking a lot about him and choose to listen to a song. At the moment the music started I remembered it was a song he liked very much.

At the end of the afternoon my family came to celebrate my birthday with me. I decided to start with playing this song when everyone was there. My mother, my sister and her girlfriend, my daughters Eva and her boyfriend and Mimi. I explained I wanted to connect my father with them by playing this song. And even the girls who have not even met him started crying and felt his presence.

It was such a beautiful feeling.

To share this feeling with them and letting them and him know that he always be a part of my life.

In my body, head and heart ❤️

We all were sitting at my dinnertable. It was “Love on the rocks” from Neil Diamond playing on my music box. There was a moment of silence. My father loved this song. In this way i wanted to give my father a place in our hearts during my 52th birthday at 5th december of 2021.

Later on Mimi shared that she has this feeling their is an important part of him (character traits) in her but she cannot defines what it is.

Eva said later on the evening when we were with the three of us sitting at the table talking: “ Why didn’t grandpa stayed for me? I wasn’t even born.”

My father ended his life just 6 weeks before she was borne at the 3th of October. Six weeks later Eva was born on 14th of November.

So I understood her question so good!

At that moment I decided I want to share more about my father with my daughters because he is still an important part of their family history.

Maybe i will make them a book with photo’s of my father and share my memories with them. I will write them down.

By starting to write down in which way he inspired me to live my life the way I do.

At the end of the evening, before everyone left to their house, we made a circle by taking each other’s hand and on the table there was a circle of Tarot cards. Everyone could pick a card. At that moment Mimi and i picked the same. So we choose that card to be the one for the family group.

In my head i have this idea to write a book about my life and the different choices i made which were very important to follow my own path of life. How generations before me (My grandma, mother and father and their choices) influenced my life without knowing. What you think? Would you like that?

Later that week i took a Tarot card called ‘De Dood’. It is a symbol for a natural end, time lo let something go, transformation, a phase of change.

You will experience that you’re changing and will start something new..

In september 2021 i bought Tarot cards and since then i use them every day. I choose one card and write it down in my bullet journal while i search for an explanation on the internet. Then i write that down and reflect on it later that day. So i don’t use them as a prediction but just to give me some soulfull insight each day at a more spiritual level.

I just love to do this. It helps me to balance my rational side with my more intuitive and spiritual side.

Any way, in december i used my photo with me and my father to make an personal cup for tea by the ‘ Hema’ for the three of us. Me and my two daughters. A special Christmas gift.

Today i took ‘De Hogepriester’ :

‘It is the deep faith in the power of the universe’

Just how my Monday 21-2-2022 felt like when i started …..

The strong faith and wisdom in the meaning of life…

X liefs Liz