At the moment i started to write this blog a few weeks ago I just found out that my new bike will be ready in week 30, 26th of july. So that means, i can’t leave for three weeks to cycle the third and last part (starting from Dax , before the Pyrenees) of the Camino (Frances) to Santiago de Compostela.

At first, i wanted to quit and just cycle here in the Netherlands. So much to organise and still have to buy a lot of stuff, gear to camp. I just want to be able to camp between the cities if i want to.

Happily, my drive to cycle in Spain this year is stronger than my fear to fail.

I just want to cycle as much as i can this summer holiday. Even though, my preparation is not perfect this year.

Less focus, i’ve been working very hard on a new project for my work and too much love issues in the past months. And this is the consequence.

So, my first goal is to focus on myself so i can live my dream:

Cycling the world as much i can, starting in Europe…

Last year, summer 2020, i prepared my bike trip to Paris in two weeks notice. So… i know i can do this. I only have to change my plan and not my goal.

I still have to book my flights, a flight from Amsterdam to Pamplona and a flight back from Santiago de Compostela to Amsterdam.

In about a week i’m free from work and have all the time i need to prepare my bike trip.

That weekend i made a plan from day to day route starting in Pamplona.

Cycling plan from Pamplona to Santiago de Compostela.

Why do i want to cycle this route?

On the bike i feel my freedom in the best way i can. I’m in control, but not during my daily trip to the next village. Everything can happen on my way to Santiago de Compostela.

Mainly i want to overthink my life. get loose of my family, friends and men in my life for that moment and start all over again with my new energy. I want to overthink my working life and how i want to organise my life the upcoming 6 months.

This is how i started my blog a few weeks ago. How much can your life change in a day time.

Since 1,5 week ago i got symptoms of Covid and my sister called me that she had symptoms too and planned a Covid-test. At first i didn’t recognized the symptoms. I thought that i had a bit more ‘hot flashes’, but later on i got a soar throat too. So i went for a test and F* it, it was positive! So i had to go in quarantine immediately for 10 days. The news stroke me down because you don’t know what side-effects you will get afterwards and i did so much hard work after my breast cancer to heal and get healthy.

At first i cancelled my plans to cycle in Spain and focus on getting better. And after that we will see what will be next.

It’s a week later now and i feel much better, physically and emotional. I had some crying moments and reached my inner-depths. I could talk about it with my sister and my mom.

Why was i so emotional about it? I’ve proofed in the past i can handle these kind of phases very well.

In the first place it was because i’ve worked so hard the past months with a long cycle trip ahead. I was so ready to get on my new bike and feel the freedom of cycling again.

I wanted to find myself again while cycling the camino. Liberated from everything and everyone to get back on my own thoughts and dreams. And now i was closed down in my house again. It felt like my little dungeon. I couldn’t go anywhere. Only my body and mind to take care of. During the day i was allright. Distraction enough, but in the night i couldn’t sleep much because of the Covid and at some moments the tears just came pouring out of my eyes.

The drive to wander is so big. I wandered where that urge comes from. While talking to my mother i realized that my grandmother came to the Netherlands as a young German girl to settle for a new and hopefully better life. So brave to be here all these years. She was prisoned for a little while and my mother and me still don’t know why and we want to figure that out. The women in my family line from my mothers side are so strong and independent, but emotionally there is a lot of work to do. The women in my family care a lot about others especially men and their kids, but they often forgot themselves, to self-love and self-sooth themselves. They deserved it. And that is what i want to do different.

I want to be able to self-love and self-sooth me, myself and I.

When i gave birth to my two beautiful girls i had a mission and that was raising them to be strong and independent women, financially and emotionally. To be able to self-love and self-sooth themselves. Of course with the support of my motherlove during that process and the rest of there lives if needed.

Especially by living my life as an example that you have to create your own possiblities.

You never can make wrong choices, you always can change and do it otherwise. It’s all about the experience and create your own vision at life and not live someone else’s.

July, is the month i got diagnosed with breast cancer three years ago. Probably that trauma is settled in my inner-body and when such thing as getting Covid in the same period comes around it’s probably triggering me unknowingly. I can’t put aside the fact that i couldn’t live a normal live for 1,5 year. And at the time i was ready to live a social life again, the lockdown came up. I always will carry that experience with me. Only this time i have to realize it’s not that worse because i don’t have to get surgery or such thing as chemo. I won’t loose my hair again.

So hey Liz, get your shit together and go for your goals at short- and longterm! If you can beat breastcancer, you can beat Covid!

Self-talk to inspire my motivation

Moontarot 24 july, 2021

An adventure awaits you,

Today, open your heart to new inspiration.

Act upon what drives your soul mad, dear one.

The past holds no weight here.

You’re free to explore.

And that is what i have to do the upcoming week. I’m out of quarantine since today and i’m taking up my plans and preparations for cycling my new bike. I got myself what time off for self-love and self-soothing, but …

These are my new goals:

1. Focus on self-love and self-soothing
2. Pick up my new iron monster, my new Santos Travel master 3 in black and metallic red
3. Start cycling as soon as possible …
4. Cycle as many kilometers as i’m capable of building up my condition
5. Camp with my new gear once or twice

” Living my life in ‘freedom in connection’. We can be alone and yet connected.”

My life quote 2018-for ever

Because from now on i have still 3 weeks of summer holiday to go…

I will keep you posted the upcoming weeks about my little cycling adventures and share little parts of my vision on life and love. Hope you feel inspired!

X Liefs Liz